27 February 2013

Billy Ray Harris: Homeless Candidate Urges, 'Go Green' for jobs


When homeless and jobless Billy Ray Harris recently returned a diamond engagement ring to its owner little did America realise here sat a wise old sage. TheBigRetort into a small part of his wisdom...

Over the Pond honesty has proven to be the best policy when Billy Ray Harris, living on the streets of Kansas City, begging bowl in hand, became the lucky new owner of a very expensive diamond ring; accidentally dropped by distraught real owner Sarah Darling.
 
Realising the mistake, jobless "Billy Ray" waited for her return.

He later reunited Sarah with her extremely expensive engagement ring.

As a result, Sarah and hubby-to-be set up a Facebook page for donations towards helping Billy Ray - and which has skyrocketed to over 100,000 dollars..
 
Back in 2010 however, "Billy Ray", living on the streets, gave an interview - here - stating to America: ‘Going green is a good idea’. It would - Billy Ray believed - 'create jobs'.
 
Fortunately Billy Ray now has enough money to get off the streets of Kansas City and follow that sparkling road back to work.
 
Proving that diamonds, unlike  jobs, are truly... forever

 

.



11 February 2013

Sir Steve Bullock , Lewisham A&E, and the Interims: Mayor finds legal funds


Sir Steve Brokebloke

Wadsofcash@Lewisham.con

At a point when the public purse is being squeezed ever-tighter, Lewisham Council’s Mayor sends out an urgent appeal: But could Sir Steve look any closer for the cash than his interims? TheBigRetort

Recently an appeal was dispatched to Lewisham residents from none other than Sir SteveBullock himself; to save the local hospital's A&E.
 
Since nicknamed by us “Sir Steve Brokebloke,” the Mayor of Lewisham claimed that the government and trust administrators did not have the power to downgrade the hospital following failings by its Trust elsewhere.
 
Apparently we ‘the people’ stand a good chance of winning a legal challenge to the (unlawful) decision so brutally carried out against Lewisham's A&E, and Sir Steve hopes to 'enable' us by making contributions to his Legal Challenge Fund.
 
But what if Mayor Bullock need look no further than his own council for the dosh? 
 
First though, the Wiki definition for interim is... 'a temp'...  Curious then is it not that that in October 2005, the former Director for Regeneration at Lewisham was replaced by one Malcolm Smith, then in a similar role at Newham Council. At that time it was stated that (Smith), 'will replace (the former executive) on an interim basis before a permanent appointment is made'. [Emphasis added.]
 
Yet it was  not until the following year, in 2006, sitting in secret session - without press or public oversight - that a panel of councillors and the Mayor himself decided, (i) that "no appointment be" made for a "full time" Executive Director for Regeneration; and (ii), that Smith, in receipt of a pension and redundancy package from Newham Council, and also employed at Portsmouth, be contracted. 
 
Lewisham then paid to a firm styled “Interea Consulting Limited” in respect of these services £240,000 - in 2010/11 alone.
 
The previous year £204,000 was paid out.
 
In 2008/09, £233,000 was coughed up; 2007/08, £189,000 landed at Mr Smith's feet; and 2006/07, £183,000 was 'doled' out. (Sans VAT and expenses of course.)  
 
The payments are by no means comprehensive; or for full time employment.
 

In just one month (March 2011) Interea Consulting Limited billed to Lewisham Council almost £44,000 in respect of Mr Smith’s services..? (VAT and expenses not included.)

 
Mr Smith did not work in a full time capacity for these payments, as stated above...

From his 2005 appointment, to the termination of his contract in October 2011, an 'interim' (see Wiki) he was actually also a director of Interea Consulting Limited - 50% of the shares of which were owned by his wife; described as a 'librarian' on Companies House files. 
 
We wrote to the Mayor about this cosy arrangement; in order that we could establish if Lewisham received best value for what is essentially taxayers' money.

The Mayor's response though was curious, and not what we expected at all...
 
Usually open and helpful in all matters Lewisham, 'Steve' did not feel able to assist - 'on this occasion'. 
 
Neither could the Mayor 'discuss publicly' what was said about individual candidates ‘whether appointed or not' to the post of Executive for Regeneration.
 
Individual candidates..? There was only one candidate: Malcolm John Smith.
 
Curiously too, despite evidence to the contrary, the Mayor also claimed that he was 'not present' when the decision was taken not to employ a full time executive for the role in regeneration.
 
MINUTES of the meeting of the APPOINTMENTS COMMITTEE... MONDAY, 17 JULY 2006 at 9.15 a.m.
 
Present
 
Councillor Morris (Chair); Councillor Michel (Vice-Chair); Councillors Alexander, Klier, Peake and the Mayor (Steve Bullock) [Emphasis added.]
 
APPOINTMENT OF EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR FOR REGENERATION (Resolved: that no appointment be made.) [Emphasis added.]
 
The above decision by the Mayor and councillors added to the bills Lewisham would later receive in respect of this 'interim' position.
 
Given that Mr Smith by then appeared to be in the employ of the council, since 2005, the former Exec for Regeneration having moved on, the meeting to decide the role would also seem to be somewhat late in the day too.
 
Later minutes also record:
 
MINUTES of the meeting of the APPOINTMENTS COMMITTEE...WEDNESDAY 23 JULY 2008 at 1.30PM.
 
Present
 
Councillor Morris (Chair); Councillors Alexander, Klier, and Russell.
 
Apologies for absence were received from the Mayor, Sir Steve Bullock, and Councillor Michel. [Emphasis added.]
 
Also Present Councillor Best
 
Exclusion of the Press and Public
 
RESOLVED That under Section 100(A)(4) of the Local Government Act 1972, the press and public be excluded from the meeting for the following items of business on the grounds that they involve the likely disclosure of exempt information...
 
The following is a summary of the items considered in the closed part of the meeting: Appointment to the Role of Executive Director for Regeneration. [Emphasis added.]
 
Prior to arriving at the decisions shown above and following 'the Committee were briefed on the circumstances leading to the previous offers of, firstly, a three month contract and then a two year fixed term contract.' 

---------

"The Committee reviewed the operation of the contract over the last two years and carefully considered the options at their disposal concerning appointment to the post on a fixed term or permanent basis. The Committee asked for any increases in contract value to be kept in line with JNC awards.

"Having received the written views of the Vice-Chair and advice from the Head of Personnel & Development, the Committee concluded a renewal of the contract for a further two year period was in the best interests of the Council, but that this decision was taken on the basis of the circumstances of the case and was not a precedent to be used for other positions and gave no guarantee as to any future renewal.  [Emphasis added.]

 
"The above was resolved and the panel made the following recommendation:
 
That the contract of Malcolm Smith as Executive Director for Regeneration be renewed for a fixed term period of two years starting 1 October 2008 and that the Head of Personnel & Development negotiate the terms of the contract in line with the proposals contained in the report." 
 
Ignoring the fact that the above does not mention Interea Consulting Limited - anywhere -  and that the contract was to cease in October 2010 (why then was Mr Smith employed until October 2011?), the Mayor also informed us that no papers were retained by members of the panel monitoring the (secretive) selection process above: But why? 
 
And what were the 'written views' of the Vice Chair (Councillor Michel)?  

What too was the big secret requiring a closed session? Perhaps it was the vehicle by which the interim was to be paid... Interea. Perhaps?
 
Unfortunately we shall never know. 
 
To be fair to the Mayor, though rather forgetful, even though his shoulder has been touched by The Sword he is usually quite an open and amiable bloke - which is why he has this publication amongst his fan base - but this does not look at all transparent.
 
The minutes do record the Mayor’s presence; a presence that set the interim gravy train in motion; for a role that redefines the usual definition of 'temp'; and a role that ceased in October 2011 - after our probing - and a year after it was supposed to cease; following a secretive meeting which 'gave no guarantee as to any future renewal'...?
 
What is going on at Lewisham Council one may well ask.
 
Malcolm Smith it should be said has done nothing wrong; other than line his pockets from an available public purse, he was simply being paid huge sums for his remarkable efforts; and for which he was rewarded... handsomely. But an expertise that apparently saw no other challengers... in the whole of the United Kingdom? Why he is too described both as an ‘Interim’ and a 'local government officer’ may have staff at the Inland revenue scratching heads. 
 
But that aside… back to our proposal. The former interim’ Exec for Regen used to live in the borough of Lewisham. Should he or his family have needed it he would have had full use of Lewisham‘s A&E.  May TheBigRetort respectfully suggest therefore that Mayor Bullock forward his appeal letter to Dorset - where Mr Smith now resides. One never knows, a little contribution may be forthcoming.
 
Malcolm Smith, to give him his due, has been open about his directorship. However, the “interims” remaining at Lewisham, somewhat less prone to stepping out of the shadows, do not publish their associate directorships publicly: making a probe - shall we say - taxing? 

Such individuals negotiating contracts in the dark should be 'publicly outed'. 
 
The Mayor's attendance at the meeting to decide the future role itself is too worthy of further scrutiny. 

Meetings overseen by the Mayor and members of the various panels offering lucrative financial packages should take place - in public.
 
If payments to 'tax vehicles' owned by such fortunate individuals are available in Lewisham accounts and expenditure - why then the need for secret closed sessions to decide their merits?
 
The interim/consultant gravy train may yet get such "passengers” to make a contribution towards the Mayor’s Challenge - and help save Lewisham Hospital's A&E.
 
Failing that, readers should write to Sir Steve Brokebloke and demand that he halts such cosy contracts - and the secrecy surrounding them - so that he does not have to go cap-in-hand to a squeezed and increasingly vexed public.
 
Write to Mayor Bullock.

Enable Sir Steve.

Now, there's a challenge.
 
Coming soon in TheBigRetort.... THE GARDEN WALL, THE SCULPTOR, AND THE FORMER PLANNING OFFICER.



27 January 2013

Bravo: Brabantia, rubbishes other bins

TheBigRetort had a crisis recently when a catch on its kitchen rubbish bin broke. Following which we left a heavy knife sharpener on it so that it didn't spring open. But like Pandora's Box letting out a malodorous whiff, imagine our surprise when we placed a call to Brabantia and got... service

In fact, Brabantia displays a care-for-customer credentials that rubbishes many retailers. We were expecting the usual....blah, blah. Brabantia’s response: ‘’No problem. Our products are covered by a ten-year warranty."

Brabantia, a truly solid company, swiftly sent us a whole new lid - and did not charge for the postage.

But that aint the way its supposed to happen, Brabentia. You're supposed to give us the run around  - and then TheBigRetort investigates your bins, etc.

So if you need a retailer to put a lid on it, try Brabentia: simply solidly wonderful.







23 January 2013

Michael Winner shock revelation: He wasn't such a nice chap after all

 
Startling evidence has been uncovered that recently deceased Michael Winner may not have been such a nice chap after all. Shock! Horror! And a little chutzpah! What you are about to read may offend those who have held 'The Twat' in such high esteem TheBigRetort lifts the lid... A halo slips... Revealing the darker side of Michael Winner: whom we let... R.I.P himself.
 
www.Punch.co.uk Reproduced with kind permission of Punch Ltd. Copyright (c) Jon Paul Morgan
 

23 May 2012

The Hung Voter: a history of prisoners' rights



The Representation of the People Act 1969 introduced a specific provision that ‘convicted persons’ are legally incapable of voting during the time they spend in prison. But should prisoners want to claim the right to vote anyway? TheBigRetort takes a judicious step back.


The denial of prisoner voting rights in Great Britain dates back to the Forfeiture Act 1870. Linked to the notion of “civic death‟, the Act literally executed the human rights of the convicted. Now seen by some modern liberal thinkers as archaic and uncivilised, they argue that citizens who have erred should not have their human rights excoriated.
 
In the other camp sits the hard-leaning saints of humanity the Victorian ‘victim’ mindset; which also wants its pound of flesh, and some.

Prison to the VM represents punishment 'only'; among which is the loss of civil rights. Part and parcel of that denial of rights is the right to vote on how civilisation itself is governed. After all isn’t the right to vote really a privilege of citizenship - and does not that citizenship bring with it certain duties? Duties which the offender has failed to fulfil by his or her actions. Chief amongst these: thou must not do foul deeds. This is why the right to vote is denied the prisoner.

But perhaps we misunderstand why such rights were denied in the first place... so let's take a little gander.

In 1832, men who owned land valued at not less than a tenner were allowed to vote. But following the Act of 1870 at common law a convicted traitor and felon forfeited these lands; the denial of a prisoner’s right to vote, therefore, is really a hangover from landowners who faced what was a property denial punishment.
 
We now live in the 21st Century. But we have lost sight of how it came to pass that prisoners were denied the right to vote in the first place.
 
But as we move forward from the 19th century we should do so knowing that it was the loss of property rights and not the vote itself that denied the right to vote. No property no vote: simple.

If only that were truly so...

After the Criminal Law Act 1967 amended the 1870 Act, the Representation of the People Act 1969 introduced a specific provision: convicted persons whilst detained were legally incapable of voting - property or not.
 
This was later consolidated in the Representation of the People Act 1983. Whilst convicted prisoners (in custody) would not be entitled to vote, prisoners on remand were exempt from this electoral banishment.

The Representation of the People Act 1918 brought about changes to the general voter registration requirements and this further enshrined the loss of the right to vote for prisoners.

Even this action is misunderstood when it comes to the prisoner’s right to vote. Once registered, an elector remained on the roll almost indefinitely (unless they moved to a different place), as it was not annually revised. Under the 1918 Act however, new arrangements were put in place to revise the register twice a year following ‘house to house’ and other inquiries. Electors generally had to be able to prove six months residence - which they could not do if they were in prison.

The Act then enforced the denial of the prisoner’s right to vote simply due to the difficulty in recording such persons in prison; and something, incidentally, in a technological age, that we are now able to do. The denial of the right of the prisoner to vote is therefore largely misunderstood by government and the judgemental Victorian mindset electorate. It was the loss of home ownership status that denied the right and not the criminal act or punishment that followed.

But come to think of it: do prisoners really actually want the right to vote anyway? Given that a convicted persons address would be “care of HMP Wandsworth (or some other)” wouldn’t such an address be an indelible stain on a convicted person’s character - for all judgemental persons to see for good - or bad, as it happens? Any persons duly recorded would literally be placing themselves in the court of common gossip via the People’s PNC - for life.

No doubt ‘convict outing’ would infringe the Rehabilitation of Offenders Act and the Data protections Act. It would then lead to compensation claims by ex-offenders into the bargain.  Perhaps, the right to have X mark the spot at the polls even inside HMP is a first step, albeit to both offender and non-offender a very cautious one indeed.

04 January 2012

Harry Bensley: 'boy' accompanied Iron Mask - named






The year was 1908. A Remarkable Wager. A man wearing an iron mask... Pushing a pram full of postcard photographs... Must find a wife along the way... Visit three towns in each county of England... Make his way around the world visiting each country and city on the list... And it would take 6-8 years... But the person who did it would win the princely sum of $100,000 An astonishing tale…. IF TRUE.

Following our findings into Harry Bensley, the legend who trekked through Edwardian England in order to complete an 8-year trek around the world ‘for a wager‘, we now present the identity of the young man who accompanied ‘Iron Mask’ on his remarkable journey.

His name was... William German.

According to the Western Times article we uncovered (18 April 1908), it was it was four months after the commencement of the trek that William German of Holsworthy rendezvoused with a man wearing an iron mask. It states:

“Master Wm. German, the son of Mr and Mrs S German, of Trewyn, left Holsworthy this morning with a horse and a new set of harness on route for Barnstaple, to join the man with the iron mask, who has decided to have a living van (sic) accompany him, with Master German as driver. A large crowd of children assembled to see young German off, everyone wishing him good luck and a pleasant journey round the world.”

The plan was to walk around the world, pushing a perambulator, living off the sales of postcards which recorded the event.

Young William German joined Harry Bensley six months before his 17th birthday, it must have seemed like a daring adventure. How long he may have lasted on that 8-year trip before discovering it was a scam is currently unknown

Coming soon… the Harry Bensley Hoax Admission
 


20 December 2011

Ciroc Vodka, Next Model Sponsorship, and the Mystery Hedge Funder

We recently highlighted the ‘banker’ who splashed out £71,000 on a drinks binge at a top London nightclub in one single evening - and with just nine money-making wannabees. Now, in our follow up exclusive, TheBigRetort  uncaps the bottle. At the bottom of the glass we discover a 'sponsored' jolly for  a top model agency and a publicity stunt gone awry. Our report pours ice on a little-known drink someone has styled 'Methuselah'...

What do a bunch of party-going models and a drinks firm have in common?  Answer: A give-it-large hedge fund owner with more money than sense.


To recap... It took place just off Oxford Street. In a club called The Rose. You may recall that this is the place (if you've got no soul) that was recently promoted by its gloating owners as the wannabe hangout of the embarrassingly wealthy.

And boy do we mean e-m-b-a-r-r-a-s-s-i-n-g.

The Rose has a thorn after all...

It recently made the Evening Standard and the Daily Mail and other 'tabs' when it was claimed by its owners--strange uh?--that one wealthy patron, himself the owner of a hedge-fund firm, blew a small fortune on drinks for his young all-male staff -  a paltry £71K for ten, what a Scrooge!!

According to the club's owners, the man who caused all the fuss  wished to remain anonymous. (So why draw attention to yourself by throwing £50 notes around the club 'like confetti' then?) However, i
ronically, and somewhat contradictorily, the club's publicity-seeking owners appear not to have understood that the announcement would garner some negative publicity.

Various blogs commented on the 'disgusting' behaviour of the individual concerned.

A witch hunt was recommenced against yet another 'banker' drunk on his plunder. (But he wasn't a banker. He was the owner of a hedge fund firm.) Or so it was claimed... 

The Rose Club promoters also presented a copy of what they insist was the 'check';  presumably to firm up the story for the (unsuspecting?) reporter who filed it.

Remarkably it revealed that the waitress got extremely lucky that night.


She received a £10,000 tip!  

The club owners' claimed that ‘Margaux’ on the bill was not in fact 'a real name'. But since our last post (in which we outed waitress ‘Margaux Nina’) she has posted a copy of the bill confirming the tip. 

So that’s that then?

Well, not quite… don't forget the models.

Next Models London celebrated what was the end of 'an amazing year' with an "exclusive" party for its models, clients and friends at The Rose. 
According to its Facebook page, Next Models Management also reveals that the event at the Rose Club, which took place when the hedge funder was also there, was sponsored by... wait for it, “CIROC vodka.” 

But, what' oh what is this: £44,400 was charged to the hedge funder's bill for a drink recorded as  “Ciroc Methuselah“. A drink that we could not find listed anywhere else other than on the club's 'check'. Odd that.


So, why would an extremely rich hedge-fund owner, who wishes to remain (partly) anonymous, invite negative publicity by spending £44,400 for a drink that was sponsored--presumably gratis--by the drinks manufacturer?

Strange behaviour for a news-shy multi-millionaire who did not wish to be named?

Or was it we ask a publicity s-t-u-n-t.

If so, hoodwinking the unsuspecting public is not a very good way to develop trust around a brand.

COMING SOON... ANOTHER SHOT OF VODKA








19 December 2011

Man charged with lift fire murder

Jerome Isaac, 47, has been charged with murder and arson following the death of Deloris Gillespie, 73.

The victim was set alight after being sprayed with a flammable liquid when her lift stopped on the fifth floor of her apartment block.

The incident was captured on CCTV together with images of her attacker dressed as a pest controller who was seen entering the lift in Brooklyn, New York.

The video went white as the woman was set on fire.

Dorinda Thomas, 56, told the New York Post. "She was a wonderful lady, you understand."

Breaking News... Boris bus motorway breakdown

Following the much-publicised introduction of the new Routemaster bus, reports just in...  Boris Johnson’s new bus, named the “Son of Routemaster”, has broken down on a motorway just south of Luton.

The new Routemaster took the unscheduled stop leaving its driver looking forlorn.

The Routemaster, which has its hazard lights flashing, is flanked by police in a lay-by.

18 December 2011

Rose Club Big Tip Waitress Unmasked


In our last Retort, we reported on the City hedge fund banker who received national publicity when it was revealed that he blew £71,000 on a single night out for ten in a London nightclub. Added to the largess he left a tip for one lucky young lady... of £10,000. TheBigRetort exclusive...


Since we ‘outed’ the lucky 'Rose Club' waitress at our last retort the recipient of the windfall has now posted a photograph of the receipt - showing a tip made out to her to the value of ten thousand pounds. Yes - TEN THOUSAND!

Who's the lucky girl, then?

TheBigRetort can now reveal that she is none other than "Margaux Nina".

Or at least this is the name under which she currently Tweets. "Wooooooop ahahahaha !!! ;-) watch out…" Ms Nina wrote in one tweet following the enormous tip. She even thanks the London Evening Standard, presumably for reporting on the tip?

Woooooop ahahahaha indeed.

16 December 2011

Boris: Bus is in

The new alternative to the hated Bendy-Bus was seen on London streets today as LBC's Nick Ferrari, and former MP Michael Portillo put two very large bums on seats. 

Their verdict: a big thumbs up for Mayor Johnson's "Boris Bummer.".

The old Bendies never did find much popularity (except amongst fare dodgers) and if Ferrari and others are to be believed, the Boris Bummer is likely to bring in the punters due to its lighting and sleek glass design, which also manages to retain the heritage of the old much-loved Routemaster.

Will is be a success amongst the travelling public?

Fares ladies and gents, please.

Tory donor's hidden history of racist banter: Unveiling Frank Hester's troubling racist mouth

In recent news, the spotlight has fallen on Conservative Party donor Frank Hester, with accusations of racism swirling around his rather b...